Well fine then, I’m gonna go shack up with everyone’s second choice for everything.
Boromir would’ve gotten two first choices.
Get yourself a nice Dwarven woman with a good strong beard you can just hang off of.
That elf lovin must be top tier.
Oof. Good meme.
Gondor has no boyfriend. Gondor needs no boyfriend!
Goondor
Right in the feels
always pissed me off he chose Arrrwen over an actual warrior.
Like, I get it, ageless wife, the sex must be great…
…But once he gets too old for his dick to work, he’s gonna realise that she has no understanding of what he’s going through as her mind has ten lifetimes worth of inelastic grey matter and he’ll wish for a more interesting life-partner that can adapt and sympathize with what he’s going through.
Elrond will resurrect his penis
Arwen gives up her elf immortality when she marries Aragorn. That’s why her father Elrond is so pained by her decision. He’s going to live on in the grey havens while his daughter dies a mortal death.
Yeah she dies one year after he does: him a wizened old man with half a dick, and her an eternal 20-something. Other than sharing a language, she basically became his carer
“Take counsel with yourself, beloved, and ask whether you would indeed have me wait until I wither and fall from my high seat unmanned and witless. Nay, lady, I am the last of the Númenoreans and the latest King of the Elder Days; and to me has been given not only a span thrice that of Men of Middle-earth, but also the grace to go at my will, and give back the gift. Now, therefore, I will sleep.”
he explicitly chose to die before his time to prevent causing her the pain of becoming his carer
well that shut me up
But if he takes up with her it’s the other way around.
He will outlive her and watch her die instead of being watched to dying.
Kinda selfish but who doesn’t want a sexy elf wife
🎶 You, got what I neeeeeeeeed 🎶
