YEADON, Pa. – A Pennsylvania man is facing more than 500 charges after investigators say they discovered more than 100 human skeletal remains in his home.
Authorities said 34-year-old Jonathan Gerlach broke into mausoleums and gravesites multiple times at Mt. Moriah Cemetery in Yeadon, Pa. since Halloween.
I mean, at least he didn’t kill them himself?
Still horribly fucked and I worry for his mental health, but not as bad as it could be.
since Halloween.
I don’t think I’ve ever hyperfixated on a hobby that hard before. He’s out there every day digging up at least one skeleton.
Eh. They are already dead. Who cares?
You can fuck my corpse when I die.
Cool beans. See ya then, neighbor!
Brilliant.
Dude that guy was bustin his balls to get those skeletons. What a pace.
I hereby donate my body to freaky shit upon the primary condition that it is funny as all fuck.
If medical science wants my cadaver for training purposes, my will has a clause that they must also use me in the same school’s theatre group as a comedy prop, manequin, puppet or ventrilloquist dummy. Limit one Hamlet a year. Unlimited stand up. Mannequin wearing school colours in the campus bookstore is also acceptable as a default resting place in between better uses as long as I am wearing classic Ray-Bans.
If some big tiddied goth girls or cultists wanna commune with the dead, conjure demons in profane rights or perform weird sex acts, I approve but the school colours and Ray-Ban rules still applies in perpetuity.
I don’t want anybody to get an infection from fucking my corpse, they’re going to have to sterilize me to have my corpse fucking permission.
We might want to start using spoilers on the comments in these threads, I think we crossed the NSFW line a ways back.
You don’t fuck corpses at work? Your funeral home must be one of them fancy ones.
10-4
He should run for president.
Idk. Might not be nearly enough skeletons.
These news always lack the most interesting part: reasoning. Why did he collect bones? Something crazy? Artsy? Just business for selling bones to other crazy or artists.
FTA:
“They are also investigating a Facebook group titled “Human Bones and Skull Selling Group,” where Gerlach was tagged and pictured holding a skull.”
Selling them makes it less ok than if he were just a crazy guy collecting bones to make a skele-army.
I firmly agree, if that turns out to be the whole story. Criminals are so rarely driven by interesting motives. Always sex, money, or power.
If I was going to ruin my life with hideous crimes at scale, I would at least develop a compelling dramatic backstory.
He already did the hard part of joining Batman’s rogues’ gallery as “The Psychopomp” - the digging! Spend a day workshopping it, it’s your entire life you’re ruining for this!! How do people not see that?
Sorry. I just hate to see a bad script get greenlit…
This guy is spare parts.
A latter day Gein maybe?
That is some Fight Club level side hustle
Seth Briars?
