Huh, there seems to be a resounding “fuck you” to my previous comment. I think I may have either read too deep into your original comment, or I’m missing something that’s implied.

I read your comment as, “teachers are practically Mr. Rogers and it speaks volumes that they’d disparage anyone.” Did I misunderstand?

I’ve met many teachers who definitely shouldn’t be armed around students.

I wish I could agree with you, but when I worked at a campus, I heard teachers make similar remarks about children of color.

“They care about teaching and keep the kids safe,” were among the reasons why these teachers should get to keep their jobs.

I’d think that silently forcing a child to accept their fate due to systemic racism due to your biases would be considered an act of aggression, but apparently I was at fault for reporting this behavior.

I also got the party started by being the first to downvote myself. The first person to upvote me probably made it look like I didn’t downvote myself.

But the second person to upvote me… Now that’s the real bastard. They made my comment seem like it deserved upvotes, and ushered in others who thought this was a comment worthy of their support.

If I ever find out who gave me that second upvote… I’d probably be like, “huh? What second upvote? What are we even talking about?”

For the life of me, I can’t remember why I chose to be born here.

Approximately as many as this comment!

Edit: this ratio is wild.

Jeb was already at war with his own charisma

Y’all seem smart and wealthy. Spare some RAM for a poor, flatulent Texan?

git fetch --all --prune

Where’s that banana-dick pastor these days?

My wife buys me flowers and it makes me feel really special. She doesn’t care for flowers at all, but she knows that I do, which makes me appreciate that much more that she’d pick out and pay for something that only I like.

And if you took one dollar from each of those people, you could use the money to buy dozens of politicians. 20,000 times that, and you can buy almost all of the politicians for many lifetimes. It’s not just a transformative amount of money for the people who are too cash-poor to risk searching for better employment, it’s an ungodly amount of money that can easily sway power to support the cost of living crisis.

Another way to look at it: when the forecast says .5 inches of rain predicted, that seems like nothing across your entire city. Now imagine all of that landing inside your house, instead. Congratulations, you’re now the billionaire of drowning in your living room.

Yes, it’s an ancient wish for prosperity. It roughly translates to: may your wine become chyme, and never vomit.

Source: the same place from which I’m currently pooping

Go Busters Go Busters Go!

That’s why my friends call me Whiskers

Some people honor their loved ones by burying them with the things that made them happy. We buried my grandmother with her porn tapes and dildo/vibrator collection.

“First, I would get a label maker and ask a coworker to assist me. Then, we’d work together to quickly figure out what each switch does, and then label them accordingly. In a business of this size and reputation, documenting your work and synergistic teamwork are foundational to value and growth.”

Then, reject whatever offer they send and say that it’s because they showed you a workplace culture that enabled middle management to test employees with busywork instead of minding their own business or solving their own damn trivial problems.

Envelope? I guess they’re taking the paper off their en papillote fish and writing notes. My monocle shattered on the floor envisioning this nonsense!

So, some paint might get exchanged?