Me and my partner adopted 2 cats about a month ago. They are very cute and friendly most of the time and we love them very much. And it seems like they like it here too. But sometimes they tend to fight out of what seems like jealousy. Like if they both want to be pet at the same time, I try to do that. But often one of them hits the other one in these situations so they go away. I would like to show my cats that they don’t have to fight each other for attention, but I don’t know how to do that. Anyone have any tips for that?
Cat politics are weird. If they aren’t hurting each other, then I usually think it is best to let them sort things out on their own. Cat slaps are a normal part of cat culture.
If it is getting extreme, they have pheromone sprays and diffusers that can help. If you spray it on your lap, then they have to enter the chill zone to get their pets.
It’s important to actually give them attention when they want it, and make sure they are adequately played with so they can power themselves out; Feliway diffusors can help smooth over tensions if the fights get out of hand, and make sure you have at least 3 cat toilets (1 per cat +1 is the rule) and enough spaces where they can retreat to (ideally somewhere farther up so they can see their surroundings)
If they aren’t fixed yet, get it done; they tend to become more amicable afterwards (can take a few weeks).
If the aggression gets out of hand, there are hormone-chips that are normally used to temporarily (6 months) sterilize cats, which also make them more chill. We have one cat that was massively jealous, attacking the others out of the blue, where we had to take this measure. It stabilized the social order and now he doesn’t need them anymore.
At the end of the day, you can’t stop it completely, only lower the intensity. Cats use those conflicts to define the social order. As long as they don’t hurt each other for real (a bit of fur doesn’t count) it’s pretty normal.
Best cat-rearing advice I ever received: Cats are gonna cat.
You can try to fight their instinctive behavior all you want, but you’ll lose every time. What you’re describing is common dominance behavior between cats and not at all pathological. Just stop doling out attention when they beef, and throw them a treat if they’re hanging out amicably for a while.
You can channel a river, but you can’t dam it entirely and expect to win forever.
