On my Windows laptop, multi displays barely work with any logic at all.

Last time I used macOS it pretended that displays worked fine (but they didn’t).

I’ve not used Linux much in hotplug monitor setups but I assume the situation can’t be worse.

A candy that plays music while you eat it

This is the sort of misapplication of technology that traumatised me as a kid, dammit

Ultrasonic chef’s knife

3 years ago I wrote a cyberpunk novel for NaNoWriMo. In it, one of the hoodlums was waving around a “compu-knife”. A knife that you have to pair to a smartphone app over Bluetooth, or it won’t work.

All together now: Cyberpunk was meant to be a warning, not just an aesthetic.

(I know, I know, the article doesn’t say the knife needs to be paired to an app. I feel lucky about guessing it does though)

Back when the original Tux drawing was made, we didn’t have boot partitions. In LILO days, the bootloader barely fit in the MBR and the kernel was located and loaded with sheer magic incomprehensible to most mortals. So that’s why Tux has no shoes.

I would totally go to a camp that involved turtle weighing. Any activity involving turtles, really! They’re so shelly aww

British cuisine is terrible enough as is, please don’t make it even worse.

[/dated and factually completely inaccurate humour]

Boomers in the 1980s: “Those damn robots took our darn jorbs”

Trump in 2025: “We’re giving these jorbs to the robots”

I’ll look through the door.

Or, set up a webcam to see when the light is on.

If this isn’t allowed somehow, I’ll tell the building management to consider rewiring this absolutely cursed light switch situation ASAP because it’s gotten so bad that it’s being used as a brainteaser by the recruiting department

Long while ago some antique show had someone bring in a Commodore 64 in full working order. The antique guy was like I was like “well some old nerd will pay a lot of money for this”. I was like hell yeah, thank you so much for not chucking it in ewaste, and oh yeah, argh, I’m getting older.

a leftist equivalent to turning point usa

If there is, I hope they call it “Just Keep Going Global”

Well, there aren’t any real scientific definitions but there sure are legal and regulatory definitions.

(I haven’t checked the local requirements but there’s micro voltage, low voltage and high voltage. Micro voltage is basically anything below 12v - for anything above that you need to be a certified electrician. Doubly so if you go above household voltages)

What do publishers do? Editing, layout, other parts of design (e.g. covers), most importantly printing, marketing and distribution.

Oh you mean what do scientific publishers do? Um… that’s a good one, huh… they just kinda take the money and leave everyone else to do the actual work?

Reminds me of an old joke about how everything in KDE has a k and it’s very annoyink and irrtitatink bekause they have less laks user interface kuidelines than GNOME. (I haven’t checked, they’ve probably vastly improved since then)

Nah. Tried to imply that everyone has sex. Even if you’re not thinking about it. (Especially if you’re not thinking about it.)

It’s a Unix derivative. To get the fundamental software thing working, someone has likely had hot gay sex. To get the modern software going, someone has had hot transgender sex, hawt furry yiff, and autistic sexual intercourses. …What I’m getting at, sex won’t make Arch unbootable. Guess you just personally fucked up somewhere.

One of my recent software projects has an “ignore” list feature, but I guess I have to update the terminology to “include/exclude” if that means chuds will stay away.