Sign a 5-year contract for one baby a month, outsource the first 8 deliverables at a loss while using the time to ramp up production staggered such that it produces a baby on a monthly basis. /s

Don’t forget to add incompetent leadership to that list. If feature needs to be shipped by some arbitrary deadline and the engineers are forced to rush through the design process, you end up with a patchwork hack of tech debt that leads to more tech debt.

(Read this in a David Attenborough voice)

And here, we see the product manager in its natural habitat, the office boardroom. Although dark and desolate, it provides the product manager with one its most critical resources: the whiteboard. The average product manager goes through two whiteboards every meeting, and this one is no exception. Thankfully, it is well-prepared for the quarterly meeting, having found a boardroom with four whole whiteboards.

But, not all is perfect for this product manager. The natural enemy of the product manager—the project manager—has sensed activity in the boardroom. In their natural habitat, it’s a constant struggle between product manager and project manager. A fight between metrics: user, or developer. Luckily for our product manager, it’s not its first encounter with a project manager.

The intruding project manager takes a sip of its coffee, demanding a higher share of the metrics for its lines of code. A notification channel is 6 extra lines, and that can make the life-or-death difference between the project manager’s quarterly bonus. Our product manager is unwavering, however. It has dealt with this project manager before, and it knows just how to drive it away. The product manager raises itself up and puffs out its chest, trying to scare away the project manager by marking it’s territory with click-through rates and loudly mentioning the CEO.

The product manager’s strategy worked. At the mention of Steve, the intruding project manager turned pale and scurried away. The product manager is safe for another day in the office.

I was going to make a joke that they could also replace the taskbar search bar with an AI chat bar, but after reading the article, it turns out that they’re planning on doing that for real:

Windows 11 taskbar is now being “upgraded” with AI-first features. Microsoft is working on the Ask Copilot bar, which may replace Windows Search in the taskbar.

Oh, no. I’m saying Microsoft owning your operating system and using it to push their data-harvesting software as a default browser is a monopolistic practice, whereas using Chrome by itself is just reinforcing an existing monopoly. The same goes for Mac and Safari or Android and Chrome.

Neither option is good, but it’s a step in the right direction to punish a corporation for their active attempts to subvert competition in a bid to establish their own monopoly in place of the current one.

Well, now that’s just inaccurate. The hundredth-time programmer isn’t going to use a rake; the hundredth-time programmer is going to use a tool::basic_tool<tool::manual_operator<species::human_t>,tool::handle_type::wood,tool::pronged<5>>.

There’s plenty:

• Not supporting monopolistic practices.
• User preferences.
• Diversifying your software so you don’t get trapped in an ecosystem.
• Not having Copilot stuffed down your throat.
• User preferences.
• Making it possible to rip Edge out of Windows for the purpose of debloating.

The devs should add a human-inspired character to the game, give it a shirt vaguely resembling the PETA lego, and make it have the worst stats out of all the characters

If there’s ever an opportunity for someone to copy Edmund McMillen with how he made fun of PETA with their Tofu Boy parody, it would be this.

What the Trump admin put the country into isn’t a golden age, but instead something more akin to a repeat of the Gilded Age, with its rampant political corruption and extreme wealth disparity. The joke is that he meant to say “Gilded Age”—which is the more accurate comparison—but is so out of it that he instead said “Golden Age”.

You are 100% correct.

His age is really showing, isn’t it? He—once again—misspelled “gilded age” as “golden age”