kesslerpartyatmyplace

If only we could figure out the difference between these two things, we could learn so much! Alas, it is unknowable.

Oh shit I gave admiralty court tomorrow! I’m going to give a sovcit speech then instead of insisting the laws don’t apply, because I kind of live on the beach, they just only apply if it stays on theme. Community service? Not valid unless they specify ‘beach cleanup’ or ‘cleaning barnacles off of boats’. Jail? No. Has to be ship’s brig.

Do you think I can make the judge wear a captains hat and a sword instead of a robe and a hammer?

700 times? Is the woman a delivery driver who works double shifts? Send this pig to a physical therapist; its wrist must be fucked.

This is why you never let anybody know shit.