I’ve a list of all the drugs I know from commercials - started writing a song about them all, just need to get the bridges done between verses.

Ever listen to the voice over in the commercials for <insert name of drug you don’t need>?

After telling you how much better the drug is than the competitor, but before imploring you to “ask your doctor if <$1> is right for you”, they list the side effects, which often include a worsening of the condition it treats as well as death, all while a bunch of actors get paid to show you what the best scenario looks like.

It’s the same thing, but for illiterate hypochondriacs.