10·
8 days ago“👍”
“Oof. I wonder what I did to piss them off?”
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Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: January 23rd, 2025
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1·10 days agoThis is how I feel about certain expensive meal replacement supplements.
Soon:
4·14 days agoHa ha ha. Found the electrical engineer.
In a building with its original wiring from the 1890s.
It would probably be safer with some warfarin on board, too.
We choose to scan the cat’s butthole not because it is easy, but because it is hilarious.
It was a pack of gum for me. It made it into the dryer. After much effort, the residue remained, fortunately made less sticky by being saturated with lint. Thank goodness it was a lease. It dried clothes fine afterward, and didn’t affect the clothes. Still, I knew it was there, and what’s worse, it knew I knew, it was there. It would stare back at me, as if looking into my soul, mocking the solemnity of my laundry rituals.
What is “denticle paper?”
That’s a pretty cool attitude to have about it. What’s the situation for the last time this happened to you?
2·15 days agoWell, yes and no. Yes, it failed to return, and no, it didn’t not fail to return.
-Excerpts from a future Congressional hearing.
“I’m night shift. What you should be worried about is if I drinking after 5PM.”
“Okay, we need a name for this one, too.”
“Bushtit.”
[Sigh] “Fine. And this one?”
[Snickering] “Blue footed booby.”
“Ugh, but why?.”
“It’s got blue feet.”
“Whatever. How about this one?”
“Titmouse.”
“I think I’m starting to see a pattern here. Is everything okay at home?”
[Bursts into tears] “No! Not since this one.” [Hands other person a photo] “I call that one ‘horrible shrew that ruined my life!’” [Sobbing]
[Other person holding the photo of the ex-partner]
A similar strategy also works for governance, if Republican leadership is to be believed.
The success of Stardew Valley and similar games are evidence of the commonality of a homestead kink. I’ve only dabbled in indoor plants myself, but I’ve heard of large, secretive communities that regularly engage in all kinds of full-on, cottage-core acts.
I don’t have the hard data to support it, but I feel that females of most species disfavor receiving a tail whip to the crotch from an ankylosaurus’ club.
Well, thanks for that! Now I have even more virus!
Right? I was just thinking that my immune system’s graphics card does not work that way.
High probability that it’s like the lub lubs from “Mom and Dad Save the World.”